Lust And Relationship!!

Did you ever wonder how it felt to be in love? What about being in a relationship? Many teenagers today have already experienced the hardship of being in relationship with someone and being in love. Some have not been in love but most have been in a relationship. Instead of breaking my head trying to figure out what it is that teenagers in today’s society face up to in relationships, I decided to do a little investigation. The questions revolving in my mind were numerous in number.

Why don’t girls want to be with nice guys, and why do they use them just for their benefit? Why does a girl think too much about a guy who just hits on a different girl a different time? Where are we wrong? Is it a social media problem, does relationship mean only sexual advantages, is there no room for love and sustainability?Well the answers to all these questions are hard to find out.The reason is I am neither 100 years old to understand long lasting relationships nor I had ever been in relationship till date with any girl.

But what is love? well it consist of  5 stages in today’s world!!

Initial Meeting/Attraction may take place over the internet, through friends, in a school or college, at a party or bar or any one of a myriad of many different places.Different arenas for meeting allow for different opportunities to get to know each other and see if there is enough curiosity or interest to take it to the next level which would involve arranging a second or third meeting.

Curiosity, Interest, and Infatuation is knowing each other. exchanging interest, hobbies, likes and dislikes, few good time together etc.This is a step of being more than just friend.. Couples generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person. Often (not always) there is not enough “is this the right person for me” but rather more “what can I do to make this person like me?”

“Enlightenment” and Becoming a Couple stage of a relationship when calming down and reality sets in. Couples often go “deeper” in their connection. Trust is stronger and more intimacies may be shared at this stage as couples take away some of their “best face” and allow themselves to act more naturally and relaxed. Shona Baby Janu beings officially!!

Commitment or Engagement  stage in a relationship determines about couples having a good understanding of their partner’s values, lifestyle, and goals for the future. There should be a relationship with each other’s family and friends. when ring slips in and the lines like I wore your promise on my finger for one year

I’ll wear your name on my heart til I die

Because you were my boy, you were my only boy forever.”

Adds final touch to it. This is the level when couples either get married or moves to final step.

The Break-up  is the fifth and final stage… this stage is only experienced by unsuccessful lovers and 90% of teenagers. The story of Ravin and Khusi is also the same.

 Today people are more independent, earning their own livelihood, and have more choice – being with the person of their own culture, a different culture/religion and without any fear of family being not pleased (unless it’s an arranged marriage). This made Ravin and Khusi like and soon love each other.

Ravin and khusi were in live in relationship from almost two years and enjoyed almost everything one dreams to of being in relationship but the dark side of Ravin was he do care and the habit of watching episodes of crime patrol and savdhan India turned his mind and trust on Khusi to a lower level.

He frequently asked about her whereabouts and why she is online but not repaying, reason for being late in reaching home from office etc….

Khusi first ignored all this but when it became serious and took the form of violence

she felt like her private space is in danger. The promises both have done to each other seems to be in danger. Khusi took the initiative and now all they have was few selfie clicked along with few kisses(rest you can imagine)…so this is what true love is.

This again let me to think was Ravin wrong or Khusi should have understood him about the reason why he was doing so.. when the same question is seen from khusi’s side yes being a girl it is difficult and these questions would have definitely created a question mark in her mind about Ravin and she being an educated working girl needs to excel in her life without the interference of anyone.. yes not even Ravin. She decided to leave Ravin then answering his questions.

come back to present friends

one is falling for the looks and saying it true love.. yeah hell please.

the girl is falling for the money!! I know I am creating controversy but I am ready for arguments as the number of such peoples is high. At this stage it’s easy to confuse lust and love. Here’s a helpful definition: lust can’t wait to get. Love can’t wait to give.

The word “love you” become so much common and emotion less that when the relationship deepeens the word make no sense as couples are used to it. They are immuned and LOVE YOU makes no difference.

Now finally I will tell you the most criticised truth of today’s relationships .. why actually they did not last for long. A guy saw a girl.. got her whatsapp number chatting for some days & few romantic lines and she replies in “I am all yours”(HA HA). I mean both of them are playing committed committed. This is lust.. yes only and only lust and to show her off within friend circle to get Display picture(DP) with her and enjoy some time playing with her hairs etc etc Now tell me what will be the end of this relationship since very soon both of them will be enemy to each other with the urge like why he/she came in my life…if not so they are really lucky one.

Boy(Boyfriend) pays all the bills(yes girls do also exceptionally). why he do so? what he will get in return? ask these questions to yourself girls!!

They another reason of relationship break-up is the family value and traditions.yes Indian family no matter middle or upper class when the topic comes of inter caste marriage the environment turns cold same as one like India loses cricket match against pakistan. But since parents do not have much options but to say yes because their dear one are ready to cross every limit even  ELOPE(Bhag ke shadi karna).

One such recent case I remember was told by palak while waiting for the bus few days ago. A 18 year old Hindu boy married 18 years old Muslim girl and left the city. The good consequences are now the boy is in jail and girl in women and child development (WCD) center with both the families being in police protection.

I am not against the relationships. I support but first  know your priorities and more important the one with whom you are dreaming of golden future.   If relationships never happened you would not be able to tell the real person you are. Relationships give you the chance to interact with the people you are closest to. If relationships did not occur life would be boring. You would not be able to share your thoughts or gain a person’s respect. If my relationships with my friends and family ended, I would have nothing to look forward to when a day was bad, or if you just needed to have a good time. Relationships make people know who a person really is. I love the relationship I have with my family and friends, and they like having that same relationship with me.

-Raman nayak

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