hypocrite-How comfortable we are pretending!

I wish I was talking about the eyeshadow palette, but sadly this post is about something else. I need to talk about the venomous creatures all of us know: two-faced snake of which one face is real and other pretending!
  3  years ago, when I was  in high school, I was extremely fond of chewing gum, especially during class hours. However, sooner or later the chewing gum would either lose its taste or I would become bored with it. After  a while, I would start looking around, wondering how I could get rid of the gum nicely and quietly. As you might have guessed by now, yes, I was that kid sticking his used gum underneath the desk. And as I grew older, I started noticing that I wasn’t the only one deviating from the social norms that society has laid out for us. How often is it that we conveniently forget to return dirty food trays in the cafeteria?  Or let our dogs poop in the park and head off before anyone has a chance to notice?

                               I think Thomas Jefferson was on a similar train of thought when he wrote, “Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.” I always found this to be a particularly interesting quote, as it reminds us of the fact that we tend to be on our best behavior when we know that we are being observed. like One we behave in Front of our school principle or our bowed smiling face in front of guest’s in house! While this may seem obvious, new research points to something far less obvious: it doesn’t take a fellow human being to make us feel “as if the world were watching,” not even another living organism. All it takes is an image of a pair of human eyes.

                               These are the people who pretend to like you but secretly hate you. These are the people who call you terrible things when you’re not listening, but when you accomplish something extraordinary, they can even kiss your feet as much as they can, just so they can be part of your success. These are the people who act nice when other people are watching, but turn nasty once the cameras are off. 

                               There will always be two-faced people. In school, at work, even at home — they’re like bad habits you can never get rid of. These two-faced snakes can be harmless, but they can be pretty damaging, too. Two-faced snakes have the power to ruin your image by spreading stories that aren’t entirely true. Why they do that, I don’t know. Is it because of insecurity? Pure hatred? Lack of goodness in the heart? just for time pass? or what?

                               It would be easy to say, “I’m not affected by what other people say about me” but let’s be honest, it does hurt to be stabbed by someone you thought you could trust.

                               The thing is, these snakes aren’t that easy to spot. Sometimes they dress up and pretend to look all innocent, fooling everyone including themselves even for a long interval of time. You know those movies with housewives wearing pearls, who pretend to be perfect, but are actually viperous as hell? They want the world to see them as important and faultless members of society. They want to look good in front of an audience but don’t care who they step on.
But why do they have to hide their other face? If they’re fierce enough to talk shit behind our backs, shouldn’t that mean they’re fierce enough to be honest?

           I don’t know anything about psychology or whatever, but I think they’re truly afraid. They’re afraid of having someone better than them, so they talk shit about others to appear powerful, to compensate for their lack of achievement. Then, when faced with the person they once talked shit about, they’re afraid of confrontation, so they fake being nice. And, when someone has something they want, they fake being good people too, because deep inside, they want what the other person has. They’re jealous, but they don’t want that to show.

                To be honest, there’s no way to get rid of these two-faced snakes. I guess we just need to be careful with whom we associate ourselves with, of whom we “befriend”, because these snakes can strike any time. Ignoring the negativity they throw at us is another way to “kill” these snakes, but that’s easier said than done.

                I guess the most important thing to do is to know who you truly are, know what you stand for, and keep building yourself up instead of knocking others down. STOP PRETENDING, BEING GENUINE WORTH MUCH MORE. A simple natural personality is far more better then a fake lighting one.
And hopefully, the two-faced snakes will learn a thing or two.
-Raman nayak




It started of a sudden and still I’m on the boat surfing the sea of vocabulary, grammar, English, knowledge, failure, and time to get few more out of me! Well the answer is still unanswered why I write but I think I was successful in getting a partial answer which is satisfactory at this immature stage of writing. I don’t know why I started writing. I don’t know why anybody does it. Maybe they’re bored, or failures at something else.

My starting point is always a feeling of partisanship, a sense of injustice. When I sit down to write a blog, I do not say to myself, ‘I am going to produce a work of art’. I write it because there is some lie that I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing. Moreover desire to share an experience which one feels is valuable and ought not to be missed.

For me my anger(very rarely I get in such state), my emotion, my feelings, my words, my urge, my stern, my stress , tiredness and almost everything whatsoever I go through finds it’s answer in my blogs or any other form of writing(even Insta story).

All writers are vain, selfish, and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a blog is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one was not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same instinct that makes a baby squall for attention. And yet it is also true that one can write nothing readable unless one constantly struggles to efface one’s own personality. Good prose is like a windowpane. I cannot say with certainty which of my motives are the strongest, but I know which of them deserve to be followed. And looking back through my work, I see that it is invariably where I lacked a meaningful purpose that I wrote lifeless blogs and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and humbug generally. Mostly they are based on some common theme of any novel, blog, news article or any other form of writing which I read in my leisure or forcefully in school or college. Well another answer is I write because I can know to get answer of why I write is to keep writing.

Sheer egoism as defined by sir Orwell Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on the grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc etc. It is humbug to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one. Writers share this characteristic with scientists, artists, politicians, lawyers, soldiers, successful businessmen — in short, with the whole top crust of humanity. The great mass of human beings is not acutely selfish. After the age of about thirty they almost abandon the sense of being individuals at all — and live chiefly for others, or are simply smothered under drudgery. But there is also the minority of gifted, willful people who are determined to live their own lives to the end, and writers belong in this class. Serious writers, I should say, are on the whole more vain and self-centered than journalists, though less interested in money.

I never thought of making any sought of revenue by any means of writing. So to monetize my blog and earn some is not for what I write, my writings are just for the sake of killing time when my time is concentrated and I have to choose among YouTube Facebook or any other platform online to kill time I preferably choose word press. The heat on lap(of laptop) feels good enough and I am very comfortable doing all these things. Well to be honest writing work is tiresome and you need to put up all your four dimensional thinking to get few lines published just to get few genuine complements and those feels like someone has put up oxygen musk at the height of 42000 feet about the ground to support breath.

Joshua Becker sir though his post helped me a lot in my initial stage. He and many such writers & posts which I come across daily are reason why I write. “http://www.becomingminimalist.com/15-reasons-i-think-you-should-blog” – Joshua Becker

This not to impress you actually or to prove me superior to anyone because to do that I have many alternatives rather than sitting here on terrace and thinking about how you peoples will react to this blog. But yes a writer always cares about it’s good readers and it is the reader only for whom writer write as if a writer express himself but no one even cared about it will be very relate-able like you text someone very close to you on whatsapp but you don’t get anything except blue ticks!!

“I write because I love writing. I think I became a writer in order to explore my ideas and responses to the world around me, which I often found it difficult to share with others. Also I liked my passion, and a writer can choose his or her own working hours – midnight to dawn or whenever. The difficulty of becoming a writer never bothered me. I knew it was going to work for me sooner or later. And if you’re a writer you don’t have to retire but can keep on doing the thing you love till you drop off the chair.” – Alex Miller and she & her words too are the reason why I wrote & will write.

-Raman Nayak


Lust And Relationship!!

Did you ever wonder how it felt to be in love? What about being in a relationship? Many teenagers today have already experienced the hardship of being in relationship with someone and being in love. Some have not been in love but most have been in a relationship. Instead of breaking my head trying to figure out what it is that teenagers in today’s society face up to in relationships, I decided to do a little investigation. The questions revolving in my mind were numerous in number.

Why don’t girls want to be with nice guys, and why do they use them just for their benefit? Why does a girl think too much about a guy who just hits on a different girl a different time? Where are we wrong? Is it a social media problem, does relationship mean only sexual advantages, is there no room for love and sustainability?Well the answers to all these questions are hard to find out.The reason is I am neither 100 years old to understand long lasting relationships nor I had ever been in relationship till date with any girl.

But what is love? well it consist of  5 stages in today’s world!!

Initial Meeting/Attraction may take place over the internet, through friends, in a school or college, at a party or bar or any one of a myriad of many different places.Different arenas for meeting allow for different opportunities to get to know each other and see if there is enough curiosity or interest to take it to the next level which would involve arranging a second or third meeting.

Curiosity, Interest, and Infatuation is knowing each other. exchanging interest, hobbies, likes and dislikes, few good time together etc.This is a step of being more than just friend.. Couples generally do not have much conflict at this stage of the cycle as each is really trying hard to impress the other person. Often (not always) there is not enough “is this the right person for me” but rather more “what can I do to make this person like me?”

“Enlightenment” and Becoming a Couple stage of a relationship when calming down and reality sets in. Couples often go “deeper” in their connection. Trust is stronger and more intimacies may be shared at this stage as couples take away some of their “best face” and allow themselves to act more naturally and relaxed. Shona Baby Janu beings officially!!

Commitment or Engagement  stage in a relationship determines about couples having a good understanding of their partner’s values, lifestyle, and goals for the future. There should be a relationship with each other’s family and friends. when ring slips in and the lines like I wore your promise on my finger for one year

I’ll wear your name on my heart til I die

Because you were my boy, you were my only boy forever.”

Adds final touch to it. This is the level when couples either get married or moves to final step.

The Break-up  is the fifth and final stage… this stage is only experienced by unsuccessful lovers and 90% of teenagers. The story of Ravin and Khusi is also the same.

 Today people are more independent, earning their own livelihood, and have more choice – being with the person of their own culture, a different culture/religion and without any fear of family being not pleased (unless it’s an arranged marriage). This made Ravin and Khusi like and soon love each other.

Ravin and khusi were in live in relationship from almost two years and enjoyed almost everything one dreams to of being in relationship but the dark side of Ravin was he do care and the habit of watching episodes of crime patrol and savdhan India turned his mind and trust on Khusi to a lower level.

He frequently asked about her whereabouts and why she is online but not repaying, reason for being late in reaching home from office etc….

Khusi first ignored all this but when it became serious and took the form of violence

she felt like her private space is in danger. The promises both have done to each other seems to be in danger. Khusi took the initiative and now all they have was few selfie clicked along with few kisses(rest you can imagine)…so this is what true love is.

This again let me to think was Ravin wrong or Khusi should have understood him about the reason why he was doing so.. when the same question is seen from khusi’s side yes being a girl it is difficult and these questions would have definitely created a question mark in her mind about Ravin and she being an educated working girl needs to excel in her life without the interference of anyone.. yes not even Ravin. She decided to leave Ravin then answering his questions.

come back to present friends

one is falling for the looks and saying it true love.. yeah hell please.

the girl is falling for the money!! I know I am creating controversy but I am ready for arguments as the number of such peoples is high. At this stage it’s easy to confuse lust and love. Here’s a helpful definition: lust can’t wait to get. Love can’t wait to give.

The word “love you” become so much common and emotion less that when the relationship deepeens the word make no sense as couples are used to it. They are immuned and LOVE YOU makes no difference.

Now finally I will tell you the most criticised truth of today’s relationships .. why actually they did not last for long. A guy saw a girl.. got her whatsapp number chatting for some days & few romantic lines and she replies in “I am all yours”(HA HA). I mean both of them are playing committed committed. This is lust.. yes only and only lust and to show her off within friend circle to get Display picture(DP) with her and enjoy some time playing with her hairs etc etc Now tell me what will be the end of this relationship since very soon both of them will be enemy to each other with the urge like why he/she came in my life…if not so they are really lucky one.

Boy(Boyfriend) pays all the bills(yes girls do also exceptionally). why he do so? what he will get in return? ask these questions to yourself girls!!

They another reason of relationship break-up is the family value and traditions.yes Indian family no matter middle or upper class when the topic comes of inter caste marriage the environment turns cold same as one like India loses cricket match against pakistan. But since parents do not have much options but to say yes because their dear one are ready to cross every limit even  ELOPE(Bhag ke shadi karna).

One such recent case I remember was told by palak while waiting for the bus few days ago. A 18 year old Hindu boy married 18 years old Muslim girl and left the city. The good consequences are now the boy is in jail and girl in women and child development (WCD) center with both the families being in police protection.

I am not against the relationships. I support but first  know your priorities and more important the one with whom you are dreaming of golden future.   If relationships never happened you would not be able to tell the real person you are. Relationships give you the chance to interact with the people you are closest to. If relationships did not occur life would be boring. You would not be able to share your thoughts or gain a person’s respect. If my relationships with my friends and family ended, I would have nothing to look forward to when a day was bad, or if you just needed to have a good time. Relationships make people know who a person really is. I love the relationship I have with my family and friends, and they like having that same relationship with me.

-Raman nayak

Social Media -A Silent foe!!

I stared into the `Are you sure`? notification on my screen before I hit the ‘Delete’ button. And there! I got rid of the most consuming thing of my life — Whatsapp and the popular and addictive Facebook.
Ever since phone apps like Whatsapp, Instagram, and Facebook have invaded our life, I have observed that we have turned slaves to them. It is an addiction that has encircled humans in its vicious web. And the more you invest in it, the more you lose your sanity.
I feel sorry for the kids of today’s generation who are so bogged down and fascinated by their smart phones and the latest apps, that they miss out on the fun of growing up. Rather than exploring their talent in the playground or even in the company of friends in picnics or outings, every kid I come across nowadays is more of a gadget-freak and everyone wants to be the `selfie` king and queen.

Few months back my father warned me about my addiction towards social sites and my bowed head continuously for hours over smartphone screen. And my reply was ““Yes, Papa online social network is influencing youth a lot but in my point of view the way it influence on the person is dependent on his or her own mind sets. Social networking is just a platform to enhance yourself in a better way but it’s not sure that it always helps, it depend upon the mindset of the user.”

Later I realized that no matter how determined you may be to use social sites in useful way you will definitely at some point get off-track.
I too have been a part of the ever-increasing number of people who fall prey to it day after day. People interact less, text more.

Karan Johar once rightly said, `Technology has ruined romance`. Not just romance, but it has made the very essence of any relationship quite baseless. Even when people hang out in groups, everyone is buried deep into their smart-phones. Likes, check-ins, instant photo updates on social media platform like Facebook, Instagram, and so on, have somewhere ruined the fun of enjoying time that is supposed to be spent together. Pictures of food jumps to the social platform before it’s eaten.
People are more bothered about getting clicked and post ‘selfies` than being in the moment in itself. Nowadays travelling means sharing stories on Instagram and other social sites than enjoying the beautiful leisure.

And yes, I too found myself getting more and more trapped in the world of Facebook and Whatsapp and that is when I decided to leave the addictive smart-phone app world behind and live in the real world, the present.
I had a number of reasons to quit Whatsapp and Facebook and other time-consuming messengers.

For example, you might not want to reply to some people whom you might not know so well in real life. But because of the fact that the number is fed in your contact list and to not appear rude, when someone texts you an enthusiastic `hi`, you have no option but to reply and thus start a conversation.
Life without the instant messengers and Facebook is a breather and for once I feel I’m not married to or in a relationship with technology. It proves as a mental blockage at times.

You are added into a number of unwanted groups and sometimes in a group with a number of people whom you do not even know. And then there are the unbearable notifications from the group messages which consume space on the phone. One simple forwarded message gets over 20 – 30 replies and the constant beeping literally can drive you nuts.

Our sense of creativity goes for a toss. For we are so tied down by these tools, that most of the time we get addicted even without realizing it.
Most of the people complaining of fewer sleeping hours or improper sleeping habits can probably agree that most of the time it’s our smart phone that keeps us engaged till the late hours of the night.

Despite people surrounding us, we are lost in the world of our own. Though these messengers have certain advantages, the side effects are way higher.
After the invention of Instant Messengers like Whatsapp, Hike and Imo so on, the old concept of greeting through a phone call has simply vanished.
Rather than getting wishes through a call or even a personal message on festive occasions like New Year or Diwali, we are now attuned to receiving a forwarded message on our Whatsapp messenger. In country like India where people are mad for the word ‘Free’, Reliance Jio offering free Calls and high speed internet work of a petrol in forest fire.

By deleting these apps from my phone, I can say I am at peace now. No more meaningless and forceful conversations and I can sleep peacefully without having to wake up by the beeps of some unwanted notifications on my phone screen.
I’m better off without these apps that consume my entire attention and time that I cannot afford to spare in my already crammed up schedule. They are probably needed in the world where everyone needs to communicate all the time. But in my mind they are not as necessary as they are made out to be and life is much simpler and happier meeting friends and greeting with real smiles instead of virtual shallow relationships.
-Raman Nayak